… this is the story of how we begin to remember …
Life update:
in 2000, we suddenly had the completely unexpected opportunity to move to southern California. We jumped on it. It was my life-long dream, and I was ready to go.
We listed our house in Florida, and within six weeks we had purchased a house over the internet in southern California, someone had purchased *our* Florida house over the internet from us, and Grace and I were on a plane to LAX and Tom was driving cross country with the pets.
It’s been extraordinary, to say the least. I got my life back. I know that sounds like hyperbole, but it’s actually an understatement. I feel like someone hit the “pause” button on me the day I moved to Florida after graduate school and then set me back in motion the moment I stepped off the plane in California.
The first year here was all about getting settled and being delighted by everything, even in lockdown from C0v1d, finding magic in the seasons and all the wildlife that passes through our tiny postage-stamp suburban yard. At any given moment, there’s more birds, squirrels, ducks, rabbits, and other little creatures in our yard than I think I saw in my entire time living in Southwest Florida, which is saying a lot.
This particular area in California is a place where the world matters- not just the insulated neighborhood (like it was in Florida) but the entire world, including the natural world. Even in the most developed areas in our county, natural life is all over the place. This is a space where mama ducks bring their ducklings into your yard and settle down for months with them, raising them inches from your back door, totally comfortable with the arrangement because they know you are going to help out and not cause any issues.
Life has changed so much. I still am trying to figure out what is what. I feel like I have moved to a new planet and I’m still figuring out how to navigate everything. Now the thing for me is learning how to live again without all the crushing obligations and depression and anxiety of the things I dealt with in Florida.
I’m writing again as I find my way, to help me find my way. However, that process feels kind of tender, so I’m keeping it close and somewhat private. When we moved here I didn’t want **anyone** to know we had moved and it’s just recently that I have felt like talking about it. I think it really felt like it was too good to be true for a long time. It’s not very often that life-long dreams come true and then turn out to be more amazing that you think they will be.
Also, Grace is going to turn 19 in a few months, and while I never blogged a lot about her life, now that she is really an adult, I definitely feel like I need to respect her 100000%, and even the smallest details- her major in college, her life, her interests, her career plans, etc.- belong to her and her alone.
I can see from the web hosting panel that no one visits here anymore, so this may be a pointless exercise, but if you’d like to just say “hello”, you can contact me. You can send an email to lists AT gingerblue dot com or use this form to send me a message. I’ll send you the URL for my online journal if you want it.
If you come upon this, I hope you are truly truly well.
“This is the story of how we begin to remember
This is the powerful pulsing of love in the vein
After the dream of falling and calling your name out
These are the roots of rhythm
And the roots of rhythm remain…” – Paul Simon