this is what I am doing

One of the seven (!) orchids in bloom in our kitchen
one of the five (!) orchids in bloom in our house

peace

I know I haven’t updated in a week or so- I just didn’t have the time (or focus) to sit down and articulate any sort of coherent thought. When I had a few extra moments in the studio, which seemed few and far between this week, I mostly touched up my painting. Did a little bit of scrapbooking when I didn’t have time to paint.

It’s the beginning of April and I kind of want to re-focus my general to-do list and take a second look at a few projects and things that I’m spending energy and time on and just re-evaulate/*refresh* everything. I don’t want to spend the rest of spring in this mindset of just getting through each day, getting as much done as possible. I’m not a fan of being *too* busy, and it seems to be endemic to this particular spring. I know some people thrive on full schedules, but it just makes me lose track of time and lose track of life. I feel like a machine when it gets too busy, just sort of spinning around and checking things off a list but not really doing anything meaningful.

I’m trying to be a bit more mindful, especially when things get really busy.

You know when you find yourself in the midst of a bunch of stuff (usually chore-y stuff or paying bills or whatever) and you can’t help but think about all the stuff you PLANNED on doing but can’t get to until the task you’re working on is finished? And then you get into a bit of an tizzy about it? Well, maybe that last part is just me…

I took a class a few years ago called “Awakening Joy” and one woman told a story about how she was going about her nightly routine, cooking dinner, walking the dog, spending time doing her typical evening stuff, etc. and she kept asking herself “well, what am I going to get done tonight? When am I going to do it?”

She finally realized she WAS getting stuff done- lots of it- it just wasn’t what she expected to be spending her entire evening doing. She finally started telling herself “THIS is what I am doing tonight. THIS is what’s getting done tonight.”

I found that story incredibly helpful. It’s a form of mindfulness- be here now, in a way. Just do what you are doing, don’t worry about the next thing, or what you aren’t doing, or what you *should* be doing.

So, instead of worrying about rushing through morning stuff- laundry, feeding the pets, cleaning the bathroom, whatever…- to get into my studio to do what I *planned* on doing, I have stopped and told myself “well, THIS is what I’m doing this morning. This morning I am doing the laundry. This morning I am cleaning the bird cages. This morning I am _____ (insert task).”

I guess it sort of relaxes me because it takes the other stuff off the list, at least temporarily. I guess it’s like giving myself permission to just focus on the task at hand, and spend the time I need getting it done.

I know this can’t work for everything, but I find it super helpful when I get frustrated by small tasks that never seem to end. And I’ve been relying on it a lot.

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